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Starting a New Life as a Domestic Violence Survivor

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Starting a New Life as a Domestic Violence Survivor

Getting out of an abusive relationship isn’t always as easy as just packing and leaving. Family violence victims often feel guilty about abandoning a partner who is manipulating them emotionally, and may decide to stay because they believe they will change. Today, Ferguson and Ferguson outlines some tips to help you leave and begin again.

Break the Cycle

Sometimes, it’s the threat of reprisal that prevents a victim from leaving and starting over. Shame and fear are common among people who remain in, or even escape, such a situation. Abusers may sound sincere when promising to change or begging for another chance, but control is their objective, and they’ll use any means they can to keep their victims from leaving. It’s a vicious circle aimed at keeping you trapped in a cycle of violence, and you should be prepared to get away safely and quickly when the time comes to break free.

Anticipate and Plan

Recognize when your partner is likely to become violent, and find a safe part of the house you can retreat to if necessary, preferably one with a door or window. If you have children, establish a code word that indicates danger and signals that they should get out immediately. Make sure your car is facing the street, the driver’s door is unlocked, and that your car keys are with you or within easy reach (or hide a spare). Keep an emergency bag with clothing, money, important documents and vital information (including important phone numbers) at a friend or relative’s house.

You’re Out — Now What?

Once you’ve left, remove all smartphone apps your abuser can use to find you. Consider using a prepaid cell phone if your phone service is in both your names, and use a computer at a public place, like the library, so that your internet use and any contact information remains private. If you are unsure of where to go, make use of local resources, like emergency shelters and food pantries.

Use a Reverse Phone Lookup Tool

A phone lookup tool can be a critical resource for those escaping domestic abuse, providing an extra layer of security and information. By identifying unknown callers, it can help victims avoid contact with their abusers and prevent unwanted harassment. For instance, you can get information regarding the 205 area code, as well as info on callers in the area. In emergency situations, having access to detailed caller information can also aid law enforcement in providing timely and appropriate assistance.

Safeguard Your Privacy

Always keep your whereabouts private (tell only trustworthy individuals where you’re staying), and avoid going to places your abuser might expect you to go. Never maintain a listed phone number, and avoid using a street address (instead, use a post office box). If you’re still in fear of your safety, consider getting a restraining order against your abuser. However, do not rely on this order of protection alone; although a restraining order can help keep you safe, it’s still important to take all the necessary precautions to ensure you’re out of harm’s way.

Find Trustworthy Movers

Begin your search for movers; use caution when looking for movers and always do a background check using sites like the Better Business Bureau. Don’t give out any personal information that might compromise your safety. Make sure you’ve canceled any credit cards or bank accounts that you shared with your abuser, and use a different bank when you open a new account. If possible, schedule your move for a time when your abuser is likely to be at work or out of town.

Secure Your Residence

Look for properties with security features, like a security system that contacts the police automatically in the event of a break-in. Remember to keep your home address private and know where the closest police station is and how to get there. Locate groceries, dry cleaners, and other businesses you use frequently that are in parts of town your abuser is unlikely to recognize or find.

Remember that you’re not to blame for the abuse you’ve suffered and that you deserve a safe and happy life. Getting away from an abuser is about protecting yourself and doing what you must to begin a new life. Find a new place to live, look up suspicious callers, and find a job that will help you get back to financial independence. By keeping your former life in the past and keeping your whereabouts private, you can build a happy, secure life for yourself and your kids.

For personal injury and domestic relations legal services, contact Ferguson and Ferguson today!